“Either Mitch goes with me…or get used to finding your wife hiding in trees.” “That’s just mean.” “I’m a Smith. What did you expect?” “Good point.”

“You lose anyone, there’s no replacing them. What you need to get is that’s precious, you get to keep that, you don’t want to replace it. That doesn’t mean you can’t find something else just as good.”

“And what did it say?” I ask, almost expecting to hear him tell me, “Soon.”“Check the bed.” His voice cracks saying the words.“Excuse me?”“That’s what it said.”“And what’s it supposed to mean?”“Call me crazy, but I think it might mean that I should check my bed.”“Not funny.”“Who’s laughing? I’m paranoid about going home now. I’m having major flashbacks to summer camp. You know, itching powder in the bedsheets, snakes under the pillow, getting your hand dipped into a bowl full of water while you sleep—”

“I know I’m just a human woman, but so help me, if anything happens to her while she’s with you—”“I assure you she’ll be in good hands.”“Mm-hm, that’s part of what I’m worried about.” She pointed at his hands. “Hands off, mister.”

“I’m not a very good sleeper. But you know what? I’m willing to put in a few extra hours every day to get better. That’s just the kind of hard worker I am.”

“How can you protect yourself by carrying a sword if you don’t know how to use it?’Not me, sir. Other people. They see the sword and don’t attack me,’ said Maladict patiently.Yes, but if they did, lad, you wouldn’t be any good with it,’ said the sergeant.No, sir. I’d probably settle for just ripping their heads off, sir. That’s what I mean by protection, sir. Theirs, not mine. And I’d get hell from the League if I did that, sir.”