“I just cash in on the fact that I’m good looking, and I’ve got a nice figure and girls like me.”

“I’m not the smartest guy in the world, but I’m certainly not the dumbest. I mean, I’ve read books like "The Unbearable Lightness of Being" and "Love in the Time of Cholera", and I think I’ve understood them. They’re about girls, right? Just kidding. But I have to say my all-time favorite book is Johnny Cash’s autobiography "Cash" by Johnny Cash.”

“I’m His girl. You don’t mess with God’s girl. I got a sign on my forehead that says: You better be nice to me, for my Father owns the world.”

“Chaz looks me dead in the eye and says, 'Why yes, Lizzie. I’m manically depressed because the girl I’ve finally realized I’ve always been in love with, and who I was beginning to think just might love me back, turned around and got herself engaged to my best friend, who, frankly, doesn’t deserve her. Does that answer your question?”

“I’ve got a pocket full of cash, and a condom full of erection.”

“Kissing Kate is like nothing I’ve ever experienced. And as much as I want to think I’m the good guy, as much as I’ve proclaimed that sleeping with an attached girl isn’t my style, I’m not walking away. I can’t. I have her now. She’s mine. And I’m not going anywhere.”