“No offense, but your mom is strange. She's a hit MILF, but totally off the wall."I take my hand back."Eww! Colin, you just called my mom a MILF! I'm completely grossed out!”

“He called her a MILF, which must be offensive because Miss Castle called him a thug and sent hit out of the room. Gabe, what is a MILF?”- Bethany”

“I help up my left hand. The sapphire and diamonds sparkled.“Oh my God,” my mom said and fell out of her chair.“Mom? Mom!” I said getting worried. “I’m okay,” she said and her hand appeared on the screen as she climbed back into the kitchen chair. “You just gave me quite a shock. I wasn’t expecting that. Engaged?” she panted.Sloane and Tammi”

“Anyway, back to the kids.""Well, one is a girl who looks about your age, and there's a boy." She grinned as she stood. "He's a hottie."A tiny piece of egg caught in my throat. It was seriously gross to hear Mom talking about boys my age. "Hottie? Mom that's just weird.”

“I'm not an angel, Jace," she repeated. "I don't return library books. I steal illegal music off the internet. I lie to my mom. I am completely ordinary.”

“My grandma is very old, and she doesn't remember things a lot, but she bakes the most delicious cookies. When I was very little, we had my mom's mom, who always had candy, and my dad's mom,who always had cookies. My mom told me that when I was little, I called them "Candy Grandma" and "Cookies Grandma." I also called pizza crust "pizza bones." I don't know why I'm telling you this.”