“Shortly after this exchange my roommate suggested we start throwing water balloons at the construction workers. Not really at them because, I know, I know, it's not their fault. But believe me, it's hard to look down and see a man with a seven-speed power drill plowing through a brick wall and tell yourself he's not responsible for the noise.”

“Its like he knows he's better than you, but doesn't look down on you for it because he knows it's not your fault.”

“You know that excuse... it's not you it's me? I say that a lot, when I break up with someone, but I don't really mean it when I do. I'm not the reason my relationships end but neither are the women. It's not me and it's not them--it's that we never had a we. There was no us. It's hard to say what makes two people have that, because it's something you can't put into words. It's a feeling, I know it's only a movie, but I want the feeling that Lloyd had. He didn't just want Diane, he needed her, so he did everything in his power to get her back.”

“The figure stopped to cough long and hard, making a noise like a wall being hit repeatedly with a bag of rocks. Moist saw that it had a beard of the short bristled type that suggested that its owner had been interrupted halfway through eating a hedgehog.”

“You smell good.""It's called a shower. Soap, shampoo, water-""Naked. I know the drill.”

“Really, it's my fault. It was there. A hundred times there. How often did I see it? I knew. It kept happening. Over and over, you'd say you were through with him...and over and over, I'd believe it...no matter what my eyes showed me. No matter what my heart told me. My. Fault.”