“Pain is inevitable; lives come with pain. Suffering is not inevitable. If suffering is what happens when we struggle with our experience because of our inability to accept it, then suffering is an optional extra [p. 19].”

“Life is painful, suffering is optional.”

“Knowing ... that the struggle to create a different current reality is to no avail helps keep the attention present even when experience is painful. ... the same wisdom that keeps the attention alert and present in painful circumstances includes the awareness ... that human beings feel about things, that we lament or yearn or grieve even when we understand that things can't be different. [p. 33]”

“... the moment in which the mind acknowledge 'This isn't what I wanted, but it's what I got' is the point at which suffering disappears. Sadness might remain present, but the mind ... is free to console, free to support the mind's acceptance of the situation, free to allow space for new possibilities to come into view. [p. 29]”

“Everything is always changing."There is a cause-and-effect lawfulness that governs all unfolding experience."What I do matters, but I am not in charge. Suffering results from struggling with what is beyond my control. [pp. 27-28]”

“... you are in pain. Relax. Take a breath. Let's pay attention to what is happening. Then we'll figure out what to do. [p. 10]”

“Sadness isn't a kilesha, a habit pattern evoked by challenge. Sadness sis what the mind feels when it is bereaved or bereft. All the wisdom in the world about the inevitability of change or the lawfulness of does not ease the heaviness in the mind that we feel when we lose someone, or something, we hold dear [p. 148]. ”