“A man of power and responsibility nevertheless needs somebody to tell him when he is being a bloody fool.”

“He had a sword. There was that about him: when this man held a sword, it was clearly being held, and held by him. The eye was drawn to it. Even Jade would have been impressed.”

“I know about people who talk about suffering for the common good. It's never bloody them! When you hear a man shouting "Forward, brave comrades!" you'll see he's the one behind the bloody big rock and the wearing the only really arrow-proof helmet!”

“Biers was where the undead drank. And when Igor the barman was asked for a Bloody Mary, he didn't mix a metaphor.”

“He sighed. It had come to this. He was a responsible authority, and people could use terms like "core values" at him with impunity. ”

“Mmmm, as I recall, if you go around telling people that they are downtrodden, you tend to make two separate enemies: the people who are doing the downtreading and have no intention of stopping, and the people who are downtrodden, but nevertheless -- people being who they are -- don't want to know. They can get quite nasty about it.”

“He was certain he was anorectic, because every time he looked in a mirror he saw a fat man. It was the Archchancellor, standing behind him and shouting at him.”