“Being Ymor's right-hand man was like being gently flogged to death with scented bootlaces.”

“[...]sometimes it seemed to him that although the man was the master, which was of course only right and proper, if you watched and listened, you would see that their marriage was like a barge on the river, with the wife being the wind that told the captain which way the barge would sail. Mrs. Mayhew, if not being the wind, certainly knew when to apply the right puff.”

“The important thing about being a leader is not being right or wrong but being certain. Of course it helps to be right as well, the Abbot conceeded.”

“The Librarian liked being best man. You were allowed to kiss bridesmaids, and they weren't allowed to run away.”

“But I think you have a right to know what it is you’re not being told.”

“NAUGHTY AND NICE? said Death. BUT IT'S EASY TO BE NICE IF YOU'RE RICH. IS THIS FAIR?Albert wanted to argue. He wanted to say, Really? In that case, how come so many of the rich buggers is bastards? And being poor don't mean being naughty, neither.”

“HUMAN BEINGS MAKE LIFE SO INTERESTING. DO YOU KNOW, THAT IN A UNIVERSE SO FULL OF WONDERS, THEY HAVE MANAGED TO INVENT BOREDOM. (Death)”