“Colon thought Carrot was simple. Carrot often struck people as simple. And he was.Where people went wrong was thinking that simple meant the same thing as stupid.”

“People ought to think for themselves... The problem is, people only think for themselves if you tell them to. (Corporal Carrot)”

“The sun is simple. A sword is simple. A storm is simple. Behind everything simple is a huge tail of complicated.”

“He'll just track us down and follow us and then he'll kill Carrot!" "Why?" "Because Carrot's mine!”

“It was the way he wore the place. You expected him any moment to break into the kind of song that has suspicious rhymes and phrases like "my kind of town" and "I wanna be a part of it" in it; the kind of song where people dance in the street and give the singer apples and join in and a dozen lowly matchgirls suddenly show amazing choreographical ability and everyone acts like cheery lovable citizens instead of the murderous, evil-minded, self-centered people they suspect themselves to be. But the point was that if Carrot had erupted into a song, people WOULD have joined in. Carrot could have jollied up a circle of standing stones to form up behind him and do a rumba.”

“Sometimes Carrot sounded like a civics essay written by a stunned choirboy.”

“Why bother with a cunning plan when a simple one will do?”