“Don’t trust the cannibal just ’cos he’s usin’ a knife and fork!”
“Is it progress if a cannibal uses a fork?”
“May you fall on a fork and get eaten by a cannibal.”
“I was attentive to my knife and fork, spoon, glasses, and other instruments of self-destruction...”
“That's wonderful. I do like a man that tells you right out he’s looking out for himself. Don’t we all? I don’t trust a man that says he’s not. And the man that’s telling the truth when he says he’s not I distrust most of all, because he’s and ass and an ass that’s going contrary to the laws of nature.”
“I have a fork and a spoon, but never a knife… as if I’m lacking manual skills or teeth. I have both, however. That’s why I’m not allowed a knife.”