“Got to be worth a try, I suppose," said Crowley. "It's not as if I haven't got lots of other work to do, God knows."His forehead creased for a moment, and then he slapped the steering wheel triumphantly."Ducks!" he shouted."What?""That's what water slides off!"Aziraphale took a deep breath."Just drive the car, please," he said wearily.”

“And gears," said Anathema. "My bike didn't have gears. I'm sure my bike didn't have gears."Crowley leaned over to the angel. "Oh lord, heal this bike," he whispered sarcastically."I'm sorry, I just got carried away," hissed Aziraphale.”

“He was trying to conjure up a succubus." It should be impossible to leer when all you've got is a beak, but the parrot managed it. "That's a female demon what comes in the night and makes mad passionate wossn-""I've heard of them," said Rincewind. "Bloody dangerous things."The parrot put its head on one side. "It never worked. All he ever got was a neuralger.""What's that?""It's a demon that comes and has a headache at you.”

“I heard this story once," she said, "where this bloke got locked up for years and years and he learned amazin' stuff about the universe and everythin' from another prisoner who was incredibly clever, and then he escaped and got his revenge.""What incredibly clever stuff do you know about the universe, Gytha Ogg?" said Granny."Bugger all," said Nanny cheerfully."Then we'd better bloody well escape right now.”

“He talks pretty big for a gutter wizard," he muttered."You don't understand at all," said the wizard wearily. "I'm so scared of you my spine has turned to jelly, it's just that I'm suffering from an overdose of terror right now. I mean, when I've got over that then I'll have time to be decently frightened of you.”

“Death strode away, stopped, and came back. He pointed a skeletal finger at The Duck Man.WHY, he said, ARE YOU WALKING AROUND WITH THAT DUCK?"What duck?"AH. SORRY.”

“When he'd been small, people had said things like, "And what do you want to be, little man?" and he'd said, "I don’t know. What have you got?”