“He was certain he was anorectic, because every time he looked in a mirror he saw a fat man. It was the Archchancellor, standing behind him and shouting at him.”

“She was convinced that she was anorexic, because every time she looked in the mirror she did indeed see a fat person.”

“They weren't looking at him as if he was their only hope. They were looking at him as if he was their Certainty.”

“It was the heart of any scam or fiddle -- keep the punter uncertain, or, if he is certain, make him certain of the wrong thing.”

“Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.”

“The Ephebians believed that every man should have the vote (provided that he wasn't poor, foreign, nor disqualified by reason of being mad, frivolous, or a woman). Every five years someone was elected to be Tyrant, provided he could prove that he was honest, intelligent, sensible, and trustworthy. Immediately after he was elected, of course, it was obvious to everyone that he was a criminal madman and totally out of touch with the view of the ordinary philosopher in the street looking for a towel. And then five years later they elected another one just like him, and really it was amazing how intelligent people kept on making the same mistakes.”

“He felt eyes suddenly upon him because marital telepathy is a terrible thing”