“I don't want unnecessary violence, sergeant," said Blouse."Right you are, sir!" said the sergeant. "Carborundum! First man comes through that door runnin', I want him nailed to the wall!" He caught the lieutenant's eye, and added: "But not too hard!”

“Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?""Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir.”

“I’ve got nothing but the greatest respect for Mrs. Gogol,” said Granny. “A fine woman. But talks a bit too much. If I was her, I’d have had a couple of big nails right through that thing by now.”“You would, too,” said Nanny. “It’s a good thing you’re good, ain’t it.”

“I don't want to hurt you, Mistress Weatherwax," said Mrs Gogol."That's good," said Granny. "I don't want you to hurt me either.”

“Well, the traveling teachers do come through every few months," said the Baron."Yes, sir, I know, sir, and they're useless, sir. They teach facts, not understanding. It's like teaching people about forests by showing them a saw. I want a proper school, sir, to teach reading and writing, and most of all thinking, sir, so people can find what they're good at, because someone doing what they really like is always an asset to any country, and too often people never find out until it's too late.”

“Sergeant Colon of the Ankh-Morpork City Guard was on duty. He was guarding the Brass Bridge, the main link between Ankh and Morpork. From theft.When it came to crime prevention, Sergeant Colon found it safest to think big.”

“Where's my daddy?Is that my daddy?It goes, "I fink, derefore I am. I fink." It is Sergeant Detritus the troll!That's not my daddy!”