“I was merely endeavoring to indicate that if we do not grab events by the collar they will have us by the throat.-Lord Vetinari”

“Lord Vetinari lifted an eyebrow with the care of one who, having found a piece of caterpillar in his salad, raises the rest of the lettuce.”

“And these are your reasons, my lord?""Do you think I have others?" said Lord Vetinari. "My motives, as ever, are entirely transparent."Hughnon reflected that 'entirely transparent' meant either that you could see right through them or that you couldn't see them at all.”

“The female mind is certainly a devious one, my lord." Vetinari looked at his secretary in surprise. "Well, of course it is. It has to deal with the male one.”

“William: "I'm sure we can all pull together, sir."Vetinari: "Oh, I do hope not. Pulling together is the aim of despotism and tyranny. Free men pull in all kinds of directions.”

“Many bad things were done under the Evil Empire" she said. "The best we can do now is undo them. Will you assist in this endeavor?" "In every way that I can" said Nutt."I would like you to teach them civilized behavior," said Ladyship coldly.He appeared to consider this. "Yes, of course, I think, that would be quite possible," he said. "And who would you send to teach the humans?"There was a brief outburst of laughter from Vetinari, who immediately cupped his hand over his mouth. "Oh I do beg your pardon," he said.”

“I believe he collects different types of stationery,' said Vetinari. 'I have sometimes speculated that he might change his life for the better should he meet a young lady willing to dress up as a manila envelope.”