“I wouldn't trust you with a bucket of water if my knickers were on fire!”

“Walter Plinge said: "You know she asked me a very silly question Mrs Ogg! It was a silly question any fool knows the answer!""Oh, yes," said Nanny. "About houses on fire, I expect...""Yes! What would I take out of our house if it was on fire!""I expect you were a good boy and said you'd take your mum," said Nanny."No! My mum would take herself!""What would you take out then, Walter?" Nanny said."The fire!”

“Even a really bad creator would at least have started with Earth, Air, Fire, Water and Surprise.”

“Don't do anything I wouldn't do, if you ever find anything I wouldn't do.”

“You were the kind of kid who couldn't see the difference between throwing rocks at a cat and setting it on fire.”

“The dwarfs can turn lead into gold...It reached the pointy ears of the dwarfs.-Can we?-Damned if I know. I can't.-Yeah, but if you could, you wouldn't say. I wouldn't say, if I could.-Can you?-No!-Ah-ha!”

“If I were you, I'd sue my face for slander.”