“It was written in some holy book, apparently, so that made it okay, and probably compulsory.”

“I don't believe in ONE holy book. I believe all books are holy. Of course, some books are holy shit.”

“Current "literature" [is] well-written books in which disgusting people do disgusting things to other disgusting people for no apparent reason and with no apparent resolution.”

“Okay. So, apparently I find burly Indian men attractive. What's wrong with that?”

“I once made up a story as a wedding present for some friends. It was about a couple who were given a story as a wedding present. It was not a reassuring story. Having made up the story, I decided that they’d probably prefer a toaster, so I got them a toaster, and to this day have not written the story down.”

“It's good to have these stories in our holy books, to remind us that they were written by humans. Filthy-minded, morally ambiguous humans.”