“Oh... and Bacon Surprise.'REALLY? WHAT IS SO SURPRISING ABOUT BACON?'I don't know. I suppose it comes as something of a shock to the pig.”

“It's always surprising to be reminded that while you're watching and thinking about people, all knowing and superior, they're watching and thinking about you, right back at you.”

“And that's what I don't like about magic, Captain. 'cos it's *magic*. You can't ask questions, it's magic. It doesn't explain anything, it's magic. You don't know where it comes from, it's magic! That's what I don't like about magic, it does everything by magic!”

“Even a really bad creator would at least have started with Earth, Air, Fire, Water and Surprise.”

“Can I ask a question, sir?" said Maurice, as Death turned to go.You May Not Get An Answer."I suppose there isn't a Big Cat in the Sky, is there?"I'm Surprised At You, Maurice. Of Course There Are No Cat Gods. That Would Be Too Much Like...Work.Maurice nodded. One good thing about being a cat, apart from the extra lives, was that the theology was a lot simpler.”

“No! Please! I'll tell you whatever you want to know!" the man yelled. "Really?" said Vimes. "What's the orbital velocity of the moon?""What?""Oh, you'd like something simpler?”

“What're quantum mechanics?""I don't know. People who repair quantums, I suppose.”