“Oh, where are my manners? Do sit down. Pull up a small child.”
“Sitting beside me, he gently pulls my sweatpants down again. Up and down like whores”
“Even in my revenge fantasy where all I do is exercise, I can still do only twenty-five pull-ups. Pull-ups are tough, no joke.”
“There's only one person who needs a glass of water oftener than a small child tucked in for the night, and that's a writer sitting down to write.”
“Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.”
“Sit back and get some sleep. Oh great. So if we have an accident and I'm asleep my resistance toward fighting death will be down and I'll wake up in a morgue.”