“Ridcully was to management what King Herod was to the Bethlehem Playgroup Association.”

“Don't be ridiculous, man," said Ridcully, "there's no such thing as dwarf smuggling.""Yeah? Then what's that you've got there?""I'm a giant," said Casanunda."Giants are a lot bigger.""I've been ill.”

“But we're a university! We have to have a library!" said Ridcully. "It adds tone. What sort of people would we be if we didn't go into the library?""Students," said Senior Wrangler morosely.”

“Using a metaphor in front of a man as unimaginative as Ridcully was like ared flag to a bu... was like putting something very annoying in front ofsomeone who was annoyed by it.”

“After a while the Senior Wrangler said, "Do you know, I read the other day that every atom in your body is changed every seven years? New ones keep getting attached and old ones keep on dropping off. It goes on all the time. Marvelous, really."The Senior Wrangler could do to a conversation what it takes quite thick treacle to do to the pedals of a precision watch. "Yes? What happens to the old ones?" said Ridcully, interested despite himself."Dunno. They just float around in the air, I suppose, until they get attached to someone else."The Archchancellor looked affronted. "What, even wizards?""Oh, yes. Everyone. It's part of the miracle of existence.""Is it? Sounds like bad hygiene to me," said the Archchancellor. "I suppose there's no way of stopping it?""I shouldn't think so," said the Senior Wrangler, doubtfully. "I don't think you're supposed to stop miracles of existence." "But that means everythin' is made up of everythin' else," said Ridcully."Yes. Isn't it amazing?”

“But I did not return until half past four this morning and I distinctly remember stubbing my toe on the stairs. I am as drunk as a skunk, Drumknott, which of course means skunks are just as drunk as I. I must say the term is unfamiliar to me, and I had not thought hitherto of skunks in this context, but Mustrum Ridcully was kind enough to enlighten me.”

“Good so be would you if, duff plum of helping second A," said the Bursar. The table fell silent. "Did anyone understand that?" said Ridcully. The Bursar was not technically insane. He had passed through the rapids of insanity som time previously, and was now sculling around in some peaceful pool on the other side. He was quite often coherent, although not by normal human standards.”