“The figure stopped to cough long and hard, making a noise like a wall being hit repeatedly with a bag of rocks. Moist saw that it had a beard of the short bristled type that suggested that its owner had been interrupted halfway through eating a hedgehog.”

“Shortly after this exchange my roommate suggested we start throwing water balloons at the construction workers. Not really at them because, I know, I know, it's not their fault. But believe me, it's hard to look down and see a man with a seven-speed power drill plowing through a brick wall and tell yourself he's not responsible for the noise.”

“Me: "Touch the cave wall."Computer: "You touch the cave wall. It is moist."Isaac: "Lick the cave wall."Computer: "I do not understand. Repeat?"Me: "Hump the moist cave wall."Computer: "You attempt to jump. You hit your head."Isaac: "Not jump. HUMP."Computer: "I don't understand."Isaac: "Dude, I've been alone in the dark in this cave for weeks and I need some relief. HUMP THE CAVE WALL."Computer: "You attempt to ju-"Me: "Thrust pelvis against the cave wall."Computer: "I do not-"Isaac: "Make sweet love to the cave."Computer: "I do not-”

“I don’t like seeing you hit.”“Well, to be quite honest, I don’t like being hit unless it’s by you.” As soon as it was out of my mouth, I realized what I had said. “That sounded all sorts of wrong.”“Insanely so, actually.”“To be clear,” I said to any overhearing ears, “I hit him back--”“Hard.”“It’s a very give-and-take, non-abuse type hitting situation…”The sides of Liam’s mouth folded up like an accordion. “You should probably stop now.”“I’m trying. My mouth keeps moving of its own accord.”

“It's like being halfway through the book. I can't just throw it in the dustbin.”

“Reading, his therapist had suggested, had likely been his first drug.”