“The mere fact you're delivering any will help, I'm sure," said Professor Pelc, smiling like a doctor telling a man not to worry, the disease is only fatal in 87 per cent of cases.”

“You're as handsome as Apollo, you don't pick your nose, you're not stingy and you don't talk too much. There's nothing at all the matter with you!' announced Pupa in the tone of a doctor who was a hundred per cent sure of her diagnosis.”

“I'm not interested in absolute moral judgments. Just think of what it means to be a good man or a bad one. What, after all, is the measure of difference? The good guy may be 65 per cent good and 35 per cent bad—that's a very good guy. The average decent fellow might be 54 per cent good, 46 per cent bad—and the average mean spirit is the reverse. So say I'm 60 per cent bad and 40 per cent good—for that, must I suffer eternal punishment?"Heaven and Hell make no sense if the majority of humans are a complex mixture of good and evil. There's no reason to receive a reward if you're 57/43—why sit around forever in an elevated version of Club Med? That's almost impossible to contemplate.”

“My old man was eighty-six per cent white bread and a hundred per cent asshole.”

“You know most people live ninety per cent in the past, seven per cent in the present, and that only leaves them three per cent for the future.”

“We made sure you got the cute, gay doctor,” Lonny said, smiling at the man, shamelessly flirting.”