“The thing about football - the important thing about football - is that it is not just about football.”

“Well, yes, but it's not about the football.""You're saying that football is not about football?""It's the sharing," she said. "It's being part of the crowd. It's chanting together. It's all of it. the whole thing.”

“When I meet a European, the first thing I say is, “I’d much rather watch football than football.” But I’m just teasing them, and they know I’d really rather watch football than football.”

“[Books are] vital to learning. Half the population don't go to football matches but that doesn't make football any less important.”

“Everything I know about morality and the obligations of men, I owe it to football (soccer).”

“Look, girls and boys are different. Girls like to be touched twenty times a day in a nonsexual way to feel good about themselves - that is why I tickle you and link arms with you - but boys think about sex, snogging and football, and also snogging whilst playing football. Simple.”