“The wages of sin is death but so is the salary of virtue, and at least the evil get to go home early on Fridays.”

“DON'T THINK OF IT AS DYING, said Death. JUST THINK OF IT AS LEAVING EARLY TO AVOID THE RUSH.”

“Astfgl peered around through the swirling gas clouds. At least he was in the right place. The whole point about the end of the universe was that you couldn’t go past it accidentally.The last few embers winked out. Time and space collided silently, and collapsed.Astfgl coughed. It can get so very lonely, when you’re twenty million light-years from home.“Anyone there?” he said.YES.The voice was right by his ear. Even demon kings can shiver.“Apart from you, I mean,” he said. “Have you seen anybody?”YES.“Who?”EVERYONE.Astfgl sighed. “I mean anyone recently.”IT’S BEEN VERY QUIET, said Death.”

“It was Carrot who'd suggested to the Patrician that hardened criminals should be given the chance to 'serve the community' by redecorating the homes of the elderly, lending a new terror to old age and, given Ankh-Morpork's crime rate, leading to at least one old lady having her front room wallpapered so many times in six months that now she could only get in sideways.”

“Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...”

“Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.”

“Every organization needs at least one person who knows what's going on, and why it's happening, and who's doing it.”