“There was practically nothing that he wouldn’t attack, including architecture.”

“Usually he didn’t bother the gods, and he hoped the gods wouldn’t bother him. Life was quite complicated enough.”

“Building a temple didn't mean you believed in gods, it just meant you believed in architecture.”

“How can you protect yourself by carrying a sword if you don’t know how to use it?’Not me, sir. Other people. They see the sword and don’t attack me,’ said Maladict patiently.Yes, but if they did, lad, you wouldn’t be any good with it,’ said the sergeant.No, sir. I’d probably settle for just ripping their heads off, sir. That’s what I mean by protection, sir. Theirs, not mine. And I’d get hell from the League if I did that, sir.”

“Other people say: hold on, if he's carrying the entire universe in a sack, right, that means he's carrying himself and the sack inside the sack, because the universe contains everything. Including him. And the sack, of course. Which contains him and the sack already. As it were.To which the reply is: well?”

“A number of religions in Ankh-Morpork still practiced human sacrifice, except that they didn't really need to practice any more because they had got so good at it.”

“The trouble with life was that you didn’t get a chance to practice before doing it for real.”