“Theres no stink more sorrorful than the stink of wet, burnt paper. It means: the end.”

“Pray note that my chest does not appear to be a toast rack in a wet paper bag.Mort glanced sideways at the top of Ysabell's dress, which contained enough puppy fat for two litters of Rotweilers, and forbore to comment.”

“When people say things are a lot more complicated than that, they means they're getting worried that they won't like the truth.”

“IT'S THE EXPRESSION ON THEIR LITTLE FACES I LIKE, said the Hogfather. "You mean sort of fear and awe and not knowing whether to laugh or cry or wet their pants?" YES. NOW THAT IS WHAT I CALL BELIEF.”

“When people say "clearly" something that means there's a huge crack in their argument and they know things aren't clear at all.”

“He's out of his depth on a wet pavement.”

“I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it.”