“what are you doing here?" he asked."I live here..." I answered sarcastically.”

“Here's what I suggest," he said. "You pretend that rats can think, and I'll promise to pretend that humans can think, too.”

“Albert grunted. "Do you know what happens to lads who ask too many questions?"Mort thought for a moment."No," he said eventually, "what?"There was silence.Then Albert straightened up and said, "Damned if I know. Probably they get answers, and serve 'em right.”

“I think it's IMPOSSIBLE for anyone famous to come from here, because everyone around here is insane.”

“Look, this is just the cemetery. It's got bylaws and things! It's not Transylvania! There's just dead people here! That doesn't make it scary, does it? Dead people are people who were living once! You wouldn't be so worked up if there were living people buried here, would you?”

“Someone got killed up here.... It was outside. A tall man. He had one leg longer’n the other. And a beard. He was probably a hunter.""How’d you know all that?""I just trod on ‘im.”

“This is a lovely party," said the Bursar to a chair, "I wish I was here.”