“WHERE'S MY COW?!IS THAT MY COW?!HRRRUUUUGGGH!!!!THAT'S NOT MY COW!THAT'S A HIPPOPOTAMOUS!”

“WHERE'S MY COW? ARE YOU MY COW? ”

“Moist was sure doctors keep skeletons around to cow patients. Nyer, nyer, we know what you look underneath ...”

“Where's my daddy?Is that my daddy?It goes, "I fink, derefore I am. I fink." It is Sergeant Detritus the troll!That's not my daddy!”

“These weren't cheap modern books; these were books bound in leather, and not just leather, but leather from clever cows who had given their lives for literature after a happy existence in the very best pastures.”

“Once we were blobs in the sea, and then fishes, and then lizards and rats and then monkeys, and hundreds of things in between. This hand was once a fin, this hand once had claws! In my human mouth I have the pointy teeth of a wolf and the chisel teeth of a rabbit and the grinding teeth of a cow! Our blood is as salty as the sea we used to live in! When we're frightened, the hair on our skin stands up, just like it did when we had fur. We are history! Everything we've ever been on the way to becoming us, we still are. [...]I'm made up of the memories of my parents and my grandparents, all my ancestors. They're in the way I look, in the colour of my hair. And I'm made up of everyone I've ever met who's changed the way I think.”

“Bishops move diagonally. That's why they often turn up where the kings don't expect them to be.”