“Where's my daddy?Is that my daddy?It goes, "I fink, derefore I am. I fink." It is Sergeant Detritus the troll!That's not my daddy!”

“Please, young sir! Have mercy! If not for me, please think of my dear wife and my four lovely children who'll be without their daddy!""You're not married," said Malicia. "You don't have any children!""I might want some one day!”

“Shut up sergeant. You're a free troll. That's an order"Sam Vimes”

“WHERE'S MY COW?!IS THAT MY COW?!HRRRUUUUGGGH!!!!THAT'S NOT MY COW!THAT'S A HIPPOPOTAMOUS!”

“Well, basically there are two sorts of opera," said Nanny, who also had the true witch's ability to be confidently expert on the basis of no experience whatsoever. "There's your heavy opera, where basically people sing foreign and it goes like "Oh oh oh, I am dyin', oh I am dyin', oh oh oh, that's what I'm doin'", and there's your light opera, where they sing in foreign and it basically goes "Beer! Beer! Beer! Beer! I like to drink lots of beer!", although sometimes they drink champagne instead. That's basically all of opera, reely.”

“In the words of the philosopher Sceptum, the founder of my profession: am I going to get paid for this?”

“This I choose to do. If there is a price, this I choose to pay. If it is my death, then I choose to die. Where this takes me, there I choose to go. I choose. This I choose to do.”