“I thought the whole point of having a gay brother was that they were supposed to be all cool and shit. I’ve got a defective gay.”

“Got my shit together” Definition: I’ve learned how to play it cool. I’ve got some ideas worked out.”

“From a religious point of view, if God had thought homosexuality is a sin, he would not have created gay people.”

“To be regularly gay was to do every day the gay thing that they did every day. To be regularly gay was to end every day at the same time after they had been regularly gay. They were regularly gay. They were gay every day. They ended every day in the same way, at the same time, and they had been every day regularly gay.”

“It's too bad you're not gay. Then again, if you were gay, I would never date you. You're a mess."You know, Patrick? If I were gay, I'd want to date you."Of course.”

“He patted my shoulder. "What's up with you? All of a sudden, you're bucking the system.""i got drunk and had an epiphany.""Shit, this is serious!" He gasped. "Last time that happened to me, i woke up gay.”