“On Ecstasy, Joan Rivers looks like Pamela Anderson, so imagine what Pamela Anderson looked like.”

“Pamela Anderson: 'He called and called, leaving about twenty messages, just drunk dialing. One of them was him singing his version of the Oscar Mayer theme song:"My baloney has a first name, it's L-A-R-G-E. My baloney has a second name, it's P-E-N-I-S. I like to use it every day and if you ask me why, I'll saaay, 'Cuz my Large Penis has a way with P-U-S-S-Y today!"Actually that was the message that got me interested.”

“So there we were shooting Jack Daniels into our veins, like what the fuck we can just drink it.”

“But it goes without saying that Michael Jordan could never date Pamela Anderson. That would cause the apocalypse.”

“What the hell were you thinking?" Sleepy demanded. "Did Pamela Anderson die and leave an opening on the Baywatch rescue squad or something?”

“One day, after practice, he came up behind me, tapped me on the shoulder, and as I turned around, he sucker-punched me and relocated my nose to the other side of my face. What up, Mr. Drum Captain? How's your drumming going, bro? Played any arenas lately?”

“Just because we are wearing lipstick doesn't mean we can't kick your ass!”