“Impressing a bunch of snooty teenagers is a pretty lame life goal to have.”

“I stood on Susan Boone's front porch, feeling lame. But then, since I've pretty much felt lame my entire life, this was no big surprise. On the other hand, usually I felt lame for no particular reason. This time I really had a reason to feel lame. ”

“That’s a pretty lame superhero name,” I told him.“Scooby-Doo is already taken,” he said with dignity. “Anything else sounds lame in comparison.”

“In the long second before everyone absorbs what just happened, I see the angel rolling his eyes heavenward, like a teenager in the presence of overwhelming lameness. Some people just have no sense of gratitude.”

“So, if weight loss is your goal, and you have impressive self-control, raw food is something to consider.”

“Homeschool doesn’t give you a get out of teenage jail free card. It justgives you fewer opportunities to become the butt of someone’s lame Facebook joke.”