“I'm not quite sure which scout troop Heath belonged to, but it certainly wasn't the "I will totally honor my previous promise of no hanky-panky in the shower" troop.”

“And I was fairly certain that my strong-enough-for-King-Kong-but-made-for-a-woman deodorant had utterly failed. --Doom with a View”

“I didn't care for the energy of the place—too many people and too much cigarette smoke—so I ventured instead near the lobby and the shops. At first I was a little intimidated by all the designer labels, but after a while I ventured into Dolce & Gabbana and Louis Vuitton and of course my favorite, Jimmy Choo. I was like a kid at the petting zoo, stroking the luxurious fabrics, cuddling with the fine leather purses, and cooing to the shoes. "Want to come home with me?" I asked one pair of beautiful snakeskin sandals. Their $450 price tag begged to differ, however, and I left them to find another home.”

“My sister the booty police.”

“My motto is: When in doubt, just keep lying. Even if you're terrible at it.”

“I miss you when you’re not around,’ he said. ‘I can’t sleep when you’re not next to me, and I worry a lot about what you’re up to.”

“I had one word for him, and it started with an "ass" and ended in "hole.”