“Gentlemen, this is the football.”
“Rugby is a beastly game played by gentlemen. Soccer is a gentleman's game played by beasts. Football is a beastly game played by beasts.”
“The thing about football - the important thing about football - is that it is not just about football.”
“When I meet a European, the first thing I say is, “I’d much rather watch football than football.” But I’m just teasing them, and they know I’d really rather watch football than football.”
“A teacher had once told them that men were either beasts, gentlemen, or beasts masquerading as gentlemen. Might there be a fourth category — gentlemen masquerading as beasts?”
“Playing the game means treating your dogs like gentlemen, and your gentlemen like dogs.”