“A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.”

“All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia”

“I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.”

“Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. ”

“There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.”

“Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.”

“Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler. ”