“Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.”

“A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.”

“Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler. ”

“Marry an outdoors woman. That way, if you have to throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive.”

“I never hold a grudge. As soon as I get even with the son-of-a bitch, I forget it.”

“I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.”

“I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.”