“I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.”

“In my next life I want to live backwards. Start out dead and finish off as an orgasm.”

“I’m going to kill myself. I should go to Paris and jump off the Eiffel Tower. I’ll be dead. you know, in fact, if I get the Concorde, I could be dead three hours earlier, which would be perfect. Or wait a minute. It -- with the time change, I could be alive for six hours in New York but dead three hours in Paris. I could get things done, and I could also be dead.”

“I should go to Paris and jump off of the Eiffel Tower. If I took the Concorde, I could be dead three hours earlier.”

“I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying. I don't want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen; I want to live on in my apartment.”

“I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.”

“I don't know what I want, but I know what I don't want”