Debra Anastasia

“When she saw Blake staring at her over Beckett’s shoulder, Livia stumbled a bit. His gaze was so intense. So Blake. Beckett kept her steady. She could feel his whole body smiling.”

“You did it, Whitebread! You saved him. You’re amazing. My brother. My brother.” His voice breaking, Beckett set her back on her feet and hugged her.”

“Finally, his eyes locked on hers, and she gave him a huge, teary-eyed smile. She couldn’t tell if he counted because his lips were stretched around the appliance that had kept him breathing. Be in there, Blake. Please. Please, God.”

“I’m so happy to see you. I love you so much. Thank you for waking up,” Livia spoke quickly but calmly, trying to capture Blake’s attention.”

“He found Whitebread curled up in the chair like a cat, her hand touching Blake’s. She was sleeping, and Beckett had almost turned tail to leave her in peace when Blake’s eyes snapped open.“The fuck!?” Beckett ran to Blake’s side as his brother’s face registered the room in panic.Whitebread popped up and was almost nose-to-nose with Blake immediately. Beckett leaned around her and held his brother’s flailing arms.Livia spoke in a soft, urgent voice. “Blake? They have you on a ventilator; this thing in your mouth needs to be removed by the doctor. Just calm down. Look, I’m here. I’m here. See? It’s okay. Just try to be calm.”Whitebread stroked Blake’s cheek.”

“All the doctors and nurses assigned to Blake had that sad look in their eyes, like they were treating a damn dead dog or something. And he knew those bastards had seen shit like this before.”

“Beckett stood looming over Chris, letting the image of his brother’s chest being shocked in the night fill his mind. At his core, Beckett was a killer; no one could find mercy in him now.”

“Whitebread was in there, waiting like the fucking pillar of strength she was. That little brunette had out-couraged pretty much every damn person he’d ever met—exactly what Blake needed.”

“She focused on her favorite machine in the room: the one that kept track of Blake’s heartbeat. With slow breaths and concentration, Livia could make her heart beat in tandem with his.”

“Livia was grateful. Her hand had started to ache, missing the tingle Blake’s skin provided.”

“Hey, Princess Charming, Sleeping Handsome is all yours.”

“After three days, Blake was weaned off the drugs that kept him asleep. Told he could wake at any moment, everyone but Livia was concerned. They all found time to try to prepare Livia for the worst. Each time she would listen, thank them for their concerns, and turn back to Blake with a smile.They couldn’t feel the tingling. But she could.”

“As the nurses busied themselves with other patients and statistics, Livia slid her hand over his. She needed to feel his skin. She tucked his hand under the thin blanket and held it without protection. The same tingling she’d felt when they first held hands flooded her skin. He’s still in there. They can tell me anything they want. Blake’s right here.She scooted her chair closer to his head. The deep, monotonous breaths the ventilator forced him to take sounded scary, but Livia held tight to his hand.“I love you, Blake Hartt,” she whispered. “I’ll love you forever.”

“Hey, handsome, I’m right here. You’re doing an amazing job. I’m so proud of you.” Livia’s voice cracked a bit, and she swallowed her tears. “The ladies here are working real hard. Beckett’s here, and Cole is too. We’re all just waiting for you. But you take the time you need. I’m not going anywhere. Well, I may have to pee once in a while, but I’ll come right back.”

“Livia took in the sight of her love. He fought a still, silent battle against death, but he looked pale and helpless. Livia hated that. She knelt next the bed and kissed the mark of his tattoo through her paper mask and around the tubes. An IV chugged liquid straight into his veins.”

“Okay, who’s going to visit Blake?”Livia smiled as three fingers pointed at her.”

“Livia pictured herself holding Blake’s hand on a walk in the forest, the sun prickling through the leaves to dance on his face. She pictured his smile. She imagined she felt the gentle touch of his finger on her cheek. She pressed her lips together. He will kiss me again. I know it.”

“She pictured Blake and closed her eyes. He lay under the bright surgery lights, tubes in place, beeping monitors, Sorry tattoo. It was as if she stood in the room with him. She poured her energy around him, surrounded him with sparkling, champagne-colored sunlight. Heal him. Strengthen him. Heal him.”

“Livia watched as Beckett folded his hands into a thick sailor’s knot of hope. He bowed his head. She couldn’t have loved him more if he’d been her actual brother. She let Cole’s words lift her.”

“Livia stood and looked out the window. Her own eyes stared back at her. “We need to pray. Cole, say some prayers for us. Please. Healing prayers.” Livia kept her eyes on her reflection.”

“Soon his too-loud voice drifted back into the room. “He shot my brother in the back. He’s mine. That’s a fucking order. Mine.”

“Kyle led the way, and Cole kept a hand on her lower back, holding her hospital gown together. Livia loved the sight of this man covering her sister.”

“Daring to approach the brothers’ tension-filled embrace, Livia touched one of Beckett’s coiled arms. “Beckett.” She waited until his furious face turned toward her mouth. “I still need you. Here. I can’t wait for him without you. You promised. I’m not man enough. Remember?”Livia held her breath.“You’ve got your sister,” he said quietly.“Let go of him, Cole. Please.” Livia nodded at the puzzle of arms, each with its own agenda.Cole looked reluctant as he stepped away, keeping his body between Beckett and Chris.“It has to be all of us. Don’t ask me how I know, but I do. We all have to sit here and hope for the best. Pray for the best. Even with that pile of shit right there.” Livia didn’t have to point; they could all feel pulsating of the evil that was lodged in Chris.“We have to think about Blake—getting fixed, getting healed, getting back to us. Adding murder to tonight is wrong. It’s all wrong. You have to make a different choice. I trust you, Beckett. You can do this.”Livia’s earnest words seemed to make Beckett want to curse. His face boiled red for a moment. Only Beckett could hear Livia’s gentle breath that pleaded, “Please.”Rather than leaping to action, he rubbed his forehead and took in great gasps of air. Finally, he grabbed her head in a giant hug. “For you, Whitebread. Only for fucking you.”

“Center it, Livia. Healing energy. Golden energy. She laid a hand on his arm, covering the Sorry. The touch was everything she needed it to be. She didn’t think about goodbyes, only beginnings. I love you…”

“I need to touch him.” Livia waited for the curtain to open.“Livia, he’s got to make it, right? Right? He’s at the hospital. We did everything right.” Beckett’s voice grew louder.”

“Beckett moved quickly. In one motion he snagged the pen out of Kim’s scrub pocket, stepped back, and stabbed his forearm. The ballpoint produced an instant stream of blood.“Here, take mine,” he begged. “I’ve got plenty of blood.”

“I’m here for my brother, Blake.”The nurse glared at Livia. “Family only.”Livia bit her lip.“This is my wife,” Beckett explained smoothly.”

“Beckett returned his attention to Livia. He rubbed her shoulders and set to the task of rolling up the sleeves of her father’s too-big jacket to reveal her hands. The simple act almost took Livia’s breath away. The basic kindness in this criminal was all she’d prayed for from Chris in the forest. But instead he shot Blake.”

“She watched while the funeral director and his teenage son removed Mouse from his hearse. They were efficient and reverent. Eve put her wrist in her mouth. She had to get out of here. Seeing Mouse like this was grinding her down.Eve collapsed back into the hearse. The vehicle was so empty without him. His presence had gone with his body.”

“She glanced in the rearview mirror, as if she might see Mouse sitting up instead of lying flat. “I can’t imagine Blake living through the night,” she confessed. “If you can see him from where you are right now, tell him Livia did a good job.”

“She decided to talk to this man she admired, even though he was covered with intricate yarn knots and would not respond. “Mouse, you sexy bitch. You have a crossbow?” Eve pulled it out and examined it in the streetlight’s gleam. “You hot piece of man.” It was cocked and ready to fire.“One last mission together, big guy. Let’s go get ’em.”

“She needed to move quickly and get back to Beckett. She wanted to hold his big hand and make sure he didn’t kill anyone when Blake died.If. If Blake dies, she admonished herself.”

“Eve paused to let her words sink into the soil of his fatherly impulses. “Blake’s not doing good—you know that. It’s more than possible he won’t make it. Being with the one you love at the end is almost as important as the beginning. It’s a mark in time, before and after. That tiny bit of time in the middle? You never stop thinking about that. She needs to be with Blake.”

“Beckett trained his eyes on Livia as if she were an extension of his brother.”

“I shot him in the knees. Both of them. But he should be still alive.”All eyes turned in the direction of the villain.Beckett’s flashed with anger.“I’ll find out,” he said.”

“Blake’s going to fight real hard to be with you. He knows how much you love him.”

“Livia rubbed Blake’s unresponsive hands and talking of their future. “Blake, we’ll walk in the woods together. We have forever. Just wake up, okay? That’s the deal we’re making right here. You wake up and we get to have forever.”

“Her arms suddenly free, Livia stroked Blake’s face and whispered. “I see it, sweetheart. I was right—you’re beautiful when you’re glass.”

“When they stumbled together into a clearing, even in their panic the blue moonlight made it ethereal, like a fairy ring. But in the center knelt Livia, counting out compressions.Beckett stopped in his tracks. “No no no no no no.”

“His breath was a sucking gasp that sounded more like a draining tub than a man filling his lungs with air. Then she heard him form the words “Play dead.”So Livia did. She closed her eyes as much as she dared. She could still see outlines through her lashes. She squeezed her hands against Blake’s chest. Hold on, Blake. Stay with me.”

“But in an instant Blake stepped in front of her, turning his back to Chris and the gun. The shot was so much louder than anything else in the woods. And it seemed to echo forever. Livia watched Blake’s face in horror as he fell toward her, leaning for a moment like the Tower of Pisa. She staggered back, trying to hold him as they both collapsed to the forest floor. Livia knew he was tremendously injured when his body hit hers so hard. If he could have, she knew Blake would’ve softened the blow.”

“Livia, when I count to three, I want to you to run into the trees,” Blake whispered. “And keep running. Promise me.” He sounded calm and determined.“Absolutely not.” Livia turned from their escape route. “I’m never leaving you.”“Livia, please.” Blake squeezed her hand and tried to force her in the right direction.She squeezed right back.”

“Blake rubbed Livia’s cheekbones gently with his thumbs. “I can’t believe you came for me. My brave Livia.” He kissed her lips and looked concerned. “You’re bleeding.”“I’m fine, Blake, but we have to get out of here. Some of Beckett’s enemies are after you.” Livia stroked his bruised face.“Then why are you out here?” he asked, eyes instantly angry.Livia gave the perfect answer. “This is the only place I knew I’d get to see you.”

“I’m so ashamed.” Livia felt blood filling her mouth again.Chris pointed a shaky finger at her. “You should be ashamed. It’s about time.”“I’m ashamed of you, Chris,” Livia said fiercely. “I’m ashamed I ever let you touch me. I should have saved myself for Blake.” She topped off her statement by heaving bloody spit into Chris’s face.”

“Look at me. Please.” It was more than a whisper but less than a shout. She got quieter. “Blake, please.”His green eyes found hers. She spoke as if they were alone.“I made a mistake,” Livia began. “I know you overheard me talking to my dad. I needed him to understand who you are, but I had to talk on his level. As a father he needed to know I was being decisive. I don’t think you heard the last part when I told him you were the path I wanted to take.”A flicker. Was it hope? Livia smiled.Blake’s lips moved, and she knew he’d counted her smile. “I’ll make mistakes. I know I will,” she continued. “I want to be perfect for you. But I’m human. I can only be me. That probably isn’t enough for a soul as beautiful as yours. But if I hurt you by accident, can’t we stay and hold hands until we fix it? Can’t we fix it?” Livia now spoke louder than she wanted to, but she had to be heard over the cacophony.Blake bit his lip. “You’re perfect.”“No, sweetheart. I can’t even pretend to be perfect. Look where we are right now. That’s my fault, Blake.”Here. I need to tell him now. “Blake, I love you,” Livia confessed quietly.The tears in her eyes had nothing to do with smoke this time.Livia leaned toward Blake and tried again, louder still.“Blake, I love you.”Livia shouted in the silence because now her soul was free. “I love you, Blake!”She smiled as he mouthed the words back to her.”

“Listen, Mouse wants us to find Blake,” Eve pleaded. “That’s why he’s pointing. That’s why he took out three assholes on his own like a gladiator. I want to sit and cry. I want to get him in the back of his own hearse and treat him like a goddamn king. But right now, we’re going to finish what he started.”Beckett stood and nodded. As wrong as it felt, he needed to leave his friend—no, my brother—lying dead here. At least for now.”

“I can’t leave him here. Not with them. Not in the fucking dirt.” Beckett grabbed his flashlight with every intention of handing it to Eve so he could carry his friend—no matter how fucking big he was—to someplace better, when the light landed on Mouse’s bare chest.“What the hell?” Beckett touched Mouse’s chest again, and Eve took the light and centered it on the tattoo in question.Beckett traced it for a moment, his finger lingering on the knitting needles that set it apart from his own, and bowed his head. “Now that’s too fucking much,” he said softly. “That hurts too fucking much. Eve, not Mouse. He can’t be gone.”

“Ah, son of a bitch. Mouse, you fucking deserved more than this. More than dying in the goddamn dirt. You’re more than this to me. You’re my friend.” Beckett’s emotions got him again, and he sobbed deeply into the dark.”

“Beckett fell to his knees. “Ahh…I never thought they’d get you. Never. Fuck.”

“Then Beckett knew. He knew deep inside that his friend was dead. No. Fucking no.”