Sherrilyn Kenyon

“My weaknesses are women in high heels, freedom under siege, and ebay. (Steele)”

“My Akri says that tragedy and adversity are the stones we sharpen our swords against ao that we can fight new battles.- Simi”

“Acheron kissed her lightly on the cheek. "Rest. We'll be back when he needs you." He watched herclimb into bed before he took his nephew down to his room."Well, it appears to be just the two of us, little one. What say you we get naked, drunk and find us somewenches?"The baby actually smiled up at him as if he understood.Acheron nodded. "So that's it, eh? Barely a month old and you're already lecherous. You are your father's son.”

“You do what you have to do or a bigger demon eats out your liver and uses your spine to pick its teeth. (Caleb)”

“That’s right. Get thee behind me, bitches. I don’t got no time for you. Ha! (Tabitha)”

“Power, true power, comes from within. Not without. (Nick)”

“I will fear no evil for I am the baddest beast in the land. (Nick)”

“He’s ours now. Not made by evil, but birthed by human cruelty. (Mortent Leader)”

“Take that, you scum-sucking snipes. Eat your words and your cruelty. May you drown in it and die. (Nick)”

“Don’t move, and breathe only if you have to. (Caleb)”

“To infinity then. (Bubba)What’s that mean? (Nick)It’s something my dad used to say when I was a kid. To infinity, meaning you’d see something through to the end. (Bubba)Infinity is never-ending. (Nick)That’s right, which means you keep going and going no matter what happens or what obstacles you meet. Over, under, around or through. There’s always a way. And if you have to chase something to infinity, strap on your big-boy pants, hiking boots, and go. (Bubba)”

“He’s a tough little son of a biscuit eater. (Bubba)”

“Oh yeah, Scooby, it does. You and I have gone round many a day. I’m the reason you keep thinking you’ve had alien abductions. (Caleb)”

“We’re multigenerational Squires. (Carl)Which means what? You prance around with tinfoil armor and plastic swords pretending to be knights? (Nick)”

“Yeah, I’m thinking it’s a reunion or, since it is our classmates, a collection of idiots. Let’s call it a meese. Like geese, only with morons. (Caleb)”

“Meaning, I need you to focus. If you want to save Madaug, you need to listen to me or the mortents will eat both of you Pop-Tarts for breakfast. (Ambrose)”

“That’s exactly what I’m talking about. That’s the evil that’s seducing you. The malevolent power that is crawling through your blood tempting you onto a treacherous path that will cost you everything you love and hold dear. You have to let that anger go before it’s too late. Vengeance always turns inward and it will consume you until nothing’s left but an empty hole that nothing can fill. (Ambrose)”

“And you haven’t been betrayed yet, Nick. You don’t know what that’s like. What it does to you. The scars it leaves that never fade. (Ambrose)”

“Good question. (Acheron)I have a better one. How are we going to clean up this mess? (Kyrian)Nah, mine’s even better. How do you hide a chainsaw in your locker at school? I’m thinking they’re not going to stop, and while the school has a strict no-weapons policy, I don’t think the plastic sporks in the cafeteria are going to do much to combat them. I need protection, man. Serious protection. (Nick)”

“I wonder why no one called the police about the rocket launcher? God knows my neighbors usually report it if I so much as fart in my backyard. (Bubba)”

“Where are the cops when you need them? (Nick)Probably eating beignets. As the old saying goes, when seconds count, the police are just minutes away. (Caleb)”

“Oh, gross! Zombie goo. (Caleb)Ooo, I wonder if it tastes like chicken? What do you think? (Simi)I think I’m never eating guacamole again as long as I live. (Caleb)”

“Do y’all have enough stun guns for them? (Madaug)Does a bear defecate rurally? What kind of question is that for someone who owns the biggest gun store in town? Of course I got plenty. I got enough Tasers to light up New York City AND Boston just for giggles. (Bubba)”

“You need to up your vocabulary, boy. You can’t walk around letting people think you’re stupid. Expand your horizons. Besides, it’s fun to call people names they have to look up to realize they’ve been insulted. (Mark)Yeah, that’s a twofer there. You get away with it and then they’re twice as mad when they realize how bad you really insulted them. Especially if they mistake it for a compliment when you say it and thank you for it. (Bubba)”

“Someone else has to be disseminating it. (Mark)Dis-a what? (Nick)Disseminating. It means distributing it. (Mark)Then why didn’t you say that? (Nick)Remind me to get him a word-of-the-day calendar. (Mark)”

“The Simi gots some barbecue sauce in her bag. It kind of looks like blood if you squint at it the right way. And it don’t coagulate between your teeth like blood or give you them funky burps, not to mention it tastes a lot better too. Especially over that type A stuff. Bleh! I’d rather eat my shoes. But that O-flavored blood…yum! (She straightened and held one finger up in a gesture that strangely reminded him of Smokey the Bear.) And just remember, kids, three out of four demons all prefer barbecue sauce over hemoglobin. (Simi)”

“One of you guys is going to have to feed the vampiric lawyer some blood and it can’t be me. (Caleb)Why? You afraid of a little bite?I’m anemic. (Nick)And I’m Catholic. Doesn’t that knock me out of the running? (Nick)”

“I don’t know what game you and geek boy are playing, Gautier. But you get in my way as I leave and I’ll wipe my boots on your balls. (Brett)Before he realized what was happening, Simi had taken Brett’s hand and squeezed it so hard Nick heard the bones break.) Nick is a friend of the Simi’s. You threaten him and you make the Simi really unhappy and want to eat your head. Trust me, not something you want me to think about. Now go away mean person or the Simi will tell akri she don’t know what happened to you and your masticated form. Not that I like to lie, but there are deceptions to every rule. And you’re about to become one. Now get in there and be quiet. (Simi)”

“Well, someone slap my butt and give me a hero cookie. (Nick)”

“We’ve got to get these guys to Bubba’s. Anyone got a clue how to do it? (Nick)They gotta be breathing? (Simi)Yes. (Nick and Caleb)Well, pooh. That just takes all the fun out of it. (Simi)”

“What are you talking about? Are you for real? (Nick)What do you mean? The Simi’s not turning invisible again, is she? Ooo, that would be bad. I promised akri I wouldn’t do that no more in public places. But sometimes the Simi can’t help it. Kind of like putting barbecue sauce on salads. It’s just mandatory and reflexive ‘cause you gots to kill the taste of the ick rabbit food. (Simi)”

“If you don’t live though and drop dead from it, can the Simi eat you? Akri says the Simi can’t eat no living people, but he never said no doubt them newly dead people. Maybe that’s why he don’t let me near them fresh dead. (Simi)”

“What planet are you from? Obviously Planet Insanity was missing a local, long-term resident.' (Nick)”

“Hmmm, I bet you’d be really cute with hornays. Not that you’re not cute right now, but you’re a bit young. You’re only what? Four in human years? Oh wait, that’s wrong, isn’t it? You ninety? (Simi)”

“What? (Nick)You one of them humans can’t follow Simi speak. That’s okay. This is why the Simi don’t bother talking to most humans ‘cause, no offense, you all weird. Some of you even stupid. Real stupid. Like stump stupid. It’s the lack of hornays, I say. See, only really smart creatures have hornays…except for them moo moo cows – they not bright. But akri says there’s always an exception to every rule. So they would be the exception to the hornay one. But they taste really good so the Simi will forgive them for bringing down her bell curve of superior intellect over all the other nonhorned subspecies. (Simi”

“Why you sleeping on the ground out here, Mr. Boy Human? The Simi don’t think this is a safe thing to do. Someone might think you dead and steal something or they could kill you. Maybe not if they think you dead already, but then again, people do weird things all the time – like killing dead people even though they’re dead. Is that overkill or is that just dumb? Never mind. So you should probably get up soon and not sleep here. Did you lose your bed? Or are you one of them special people who don’t have a bed but sleep outside? Some of them can be real nice. Some even offer the Simi drinks, but akri says I can’t have any ‘cause it’ll give me indigestion. Not like rubber does, but worse. So says akri. (Simi)”

“Hell? Mr. Human Boy Person? Can you hear the Simi? Or are you dead? Hello? (Simi)”

“That which doesn’t kill us just requires a few centuries of therapy. (Caleb)Yeah, and usually a lot of Tylenol. (Nick)”

“Do Mom and Dad know you’re dating a homicidal lunatic? (Madaug)No, and if you tell them, I’ll superglue your fingertips to your keyboard. (Eric)”

“Please don’t let it be another cop. I’m outta bail money. Wait a minute…I could sell you on eBay and make a killing. (Mark)Not in my current condition. You’d have to sell Caleb or Madaug. I’m sure there’s someone willing to buy two perfectly good white boys. (Nick)”

“I still wanna know who to sue to get my store fixed. (Bubba)I’m a turnip. Sue the rich kid who started it. (Nick)”

“Well, isn’t that interesting. (Bubba)I ain’t your science experiment, Bubba. I don’t want to be interesting and I definitely don’t want to be a nubby treat for the zombies. (Nick)”

“Possible or not, they tried to turn me into a Nick McNugget. (Nick)”

“I prefer sidekick. I tried once for the title of Padawan, but Bubba wigged out saying that mentors are always killed off in books and movies and he’d be damned if he was going to die once he taught me everything I needed to know about killing zombies. (Mark)Then why let you be his sidekick? Isn’t that the same thing? (Nick)Uh, no. In the movies, the sidekicks are the ones who die. (Mark)”

“But, Bubba? Aren’t you and Mark friends? (Nick)Ah, hell no. Mark’s not my friend, he’s my minion. (Bubba)”

“I don’t know who has it, but apparently other people have been playing it which is why we have zombies cropping up all over the place. (Madaug)Yeah, two and three at a time, ‘cause God forbid kids should do what we did back in the old days and play in a room by ourselves. What kind of geeks are they raising nowadays? Geeks with friends who play video games together. Whoever heard of such? It’s the end of days, I’m telling you all. (Bubba)”

“Yes, he’s a good boy. Never been in trouble at school and he’s on the honor roll. Captain of the football team. All-around psycho serial killer who hides bodies in the fridge whenever his parents go out of town. (Nick)I also eat babies for breakfast and torture small animals for fun. My therapist says I’m making real progress though. (Caleb)”

“Is he a good boy? (Cherise)No, Mom, he’s Satan incarnate. In fact, once it’s over, we’re going to get liquored up and tattooed, then find some cheap hos and have a good time with his trust fund. (Nick)”

“I haven’t noticed you being slammed into anyone’s locker lately. (Nick)That’s because you’re not around me all the time. Trust me. Life’s not easy for anyone. Everyone has scars they’re afraid to show and we all get slammed headfirst into a proverbial locker from time to time by someone bigger and badder. (Caleb)”

“I don’t intimidate you at all, do I? (Acheron)Well, when you chased me through Kyrian’s house, I did wet my pants a bit. Guess I’m not housebroken after all. My mom will be so disappointed after all she went through to potty train me. But once you let me live…your big mistake…now I know you think I’m too cute and fluffy to kill. (Nick)”