“No girl has ever offered to feed my enemies' fingernails to her cat before.""Lisa's cat. And don't flatter yourself. At the moment, I'm tempted to feed him your fingernails.”

“Maurice watched them argue again. Humans, eh? Think they're lords of creation. Not like us cats. We know we are. Ever see a cat feed a human? Case proven.”

“Pastors are starting to get wily. When people tell my friend, 'I'm not being fed,' he replies, 'I'm prefectly happy to spoon feed my one-year-old. But if I'm still spoon-feeding him when he's five, we've got a problem. Here's a fork. Feed yourself.”

“To Do Today, 1/17/081. Sit and think2. Reach enlightenment3. Feed the cats”

“You don't get pixels under your fingernails.”

“Guilt reminds me of a stray cat. You chase it away and yet, it comes back when you least expect it. If you let yourself feel pity for it and feed the thing, it parks its ugly, puny, lonely-for-attention butt on your doormat and won't go away. Scat kitty cat, scat. I don't need you sitting around here like that.”