“No girl has ever offered to feed my enemies' fingernails to her cat before.""Lisa's cat. And don't flatter yourself. At the moment, I'm tempted to feed him your fingernails.”

“Quit that." Lisa jabbed an elbow at my ribs."Quit what?""Quit looking at him like that," she warned in a hushed tone. "I'm not kidding, Amelie. He's dangerous. He boils kittens in ritual sacrifice."Katie wrinkled her nose. "He does not, Lisa.""You don't know that.”

“You. Must. Do. Your. Homework. I'm not kidding. Our world is full of dangerous things. When you neglect your studies, you deny yourself the tools to deal with them. Every assignment-"I lifted a hand to stop him. "Allow me. Every assignment is a rare window into the ancient and noble tradition of the Guardians, a key to the mysterious power of the Crossworld, blah, blah. Don't forget the part about how I'm not living up to my potential.”

“Plus, I can't look at him the same since I ran into Mrs. Marino at our family reunion. It's not comforting to learn you've made out with your cousin.""Third cousin once removed," I argued. "It's hardly incest.""Life is like a box of chocolates, Lisa," Katie noted around a half-chewed carrot stick. "You never know what you're going to get."Lisa narrowed her eyes, confused. "Did she just quote Forrest Gump at me?""It's Matt's fault," I said. "She lost a bet and now anytime his name gets mentioned, she has sixty seconds to drop a relevant movie quote.""That's insane.""Yup," Katie piped in, "insanity tuns in my family. Its practically gallops.""Classic." I high-fived her.”

“Just because a guy wears glasses and smiles at you doesn't mean he's nice." Lisa dug around in her purse for a tube of lip-gloss. "Maybe he's a visually impaired cannibal. Did you ever think of that? Like one of those serial killers you love so much.""I don't love serial killers," Katie argued, defensive. "Not romantically, at least.”

“Lisa's friendship was less of a choice than a fact of life. It worked out well - kind of symbiotic, actually. I beat up anyone who messed with her, and she made sure my homework got done. Fair trade, right? Honestly, if not for Lisa's constant nagging, I'd probably still be crouched in our kindergarten sandbox eating glue and playing Neferet demons.”

“Don't you remember? We swore never to go to these things without each other.""That was second grade, Lisa.""Like that makes it okay to ditch a pinkie swear?”