“I expect the audience to assume TV is stupid. I accept that it's my job to overcome it.”

“I'm always trying to gain and keep the audience's respect. I always want them to know that the show doesn't think they're stupid for watching.”

“You can't tell the audience — well, you can, but I don't like to tell the audience — that anything they're watching doesn't matter.”

“All [tv] shows are like cigarettes. You watch two, you have a higher chance of watching three. They're all addictive.”

“My cat brought me a toy. I thanked her and threw it. She sat there gave me a look that made me realize people and dogs are the crazy ones.”

“I wish people used wishes to modify themselves instead of others. Wish to be low maintenance. Wish to be autonomous, even.”

“I've discovered a new video game called owning my home.”