“Because teachers, no matter how kind, no matter how friendly, are sadistic and evil to the core.”

“Wrong. Enemies don't fight with such determined passion. That kind of focus is reserved for friends at odds with one another."pg 69 Tomas to Vlad”

“Funny how mishearing things-or not hearing them at all-can really screw things up”

“She raised a sharp eyebrow at him. "Vlad, no offense, but look at you. If you're not a vampire, you're clearly the most anemic goth I've ever seen."... "We believed you. Because that's what friends do."pg267 October to Vlad”

“Vlad decided that teachers' ideas were a lot like bunches of garlic-intriguing from afar, but up close sadly sickening and, if you weren't careful, DEADLY.”

“Vlad made a mental note to amend the friend code: thou shalt not date the girl that thy best friend has a crush on...nor shalt thou try sticking thy best friend in the chest with a sharp hunk of wood.”

“The world is full of monsters with friendly faces.”