“A real criminal mastermind isn’t known as a criminal mastermind, because how good can you be if you’re a known criminal? No, a real criminal mastermind is known by another name: politician.”

“A genius. A criminal mastermind. A millionaire. And he is only twelve years old.”

“Just because you don’t have an arrest record doesn’t mean you’re not a criminal. As proof, note some of the cleanest rap sheets in America belong to politicians.”

“There’s always going to be a criminal element in the population. At least as long as people believe they need politicians.”

“When I’m asleep I’m a politician, and when I’m awake I’m a criminal. Throughout the day and night, my mentality never changes.”

“It’s disturbing to me that criminals are freely roaming the streets of our nation’s capital. I’m not talking about escaped prison inmates—I’m talking about politicians.”

“If you make guns illegal, the only people who will have them will be criminals—and the government, which of course is the same thing.”