“Birthdays: without them we'd be immortal. But just because you're not immortal, doesn't mean you can't be immature indefinitely.”

“I’ll make fun of him, but I’ll call him Him, because if I use his name I’ll immortalize him. After all, who is he? He’s merely my clone.”

“When I think about my clone, random songs pop into my head. Songs like, “Happy Birthday.” Will he celebrate the same birthday as me? He’d better, because without me, there’d be nothing for him to celebrate.”

“My niece just turned one. I gave her a birthday card that read, "If you can read this, Happy Birthday!”

“Number one on my list of things to do before I die is become immortal. Obviously there is no number two on my list.”

“I crossed a time zone and I feel younger already. If I keep traveling west, I can become immortal!”

“The event happened on my birthday. I don’t remember the date, I only know it was my birthday because there was no cake or presents.”