“I trust politicians to do what’s right. For themselves.
”

“Guns don’t kill people. Politicians with sharp tongues do.”

“It’s not true I think all politicians are morons. Morons are far too intelligent to be politicians.”

“I don’t think he’s dumber than a politician. But only because it’s not possible to be dumber than a politician.”

“What’s with the zombie craze? Zombies are half alive, half dead, right? Sounds like my wife in bed.”

“Sometimes we can’t see what’s right in front of us, because it’s behind us, and we’re looking in a mirror.”

“Every politician has a promising career. Unfortunately, most of them do not keep those promises.”