“Webster’s—the original high definition entertainment.”

“Obviousism—I would give you a definition, but the definition would only be an example of the word.”

“On the scale of tomato to ketchup, my girlfriend is definitely a 57.”

“A window—it’s more entertaining than TV. Just ask a cat looking out, or a man looking in on a life he desires.”

“If yes is the new no, no is the new maybe, and maybe is the new yes, then my answer is definitely maybe.”

“99% of the population is afraid of public speaking, and of the remaining 1%, 99% of them have nothing original and interesting to say.”

“I don't like musty smells. I much prefer less definitive fragrances, like the scent of maybe.”