“I think Tim Buckley is the antichrist, and I think that miscarriage storyline was the first horseman of the Apocalypse.”

“Behold! For now I wear the human pants!”

“Scarlet, before you go through this, I want to remind you of September 7th, 1988. It was the first time that I saw you. You were reading Less Than Zero, and you were wearing a Guns 'n' Roses t-shirt. I'd never seen anything so perfect. I remember thinking that I had to have you or I'd die... then you whispered that you loved me at the homecoming dance, and I felt so peaceful... and safe... because I knew that no matter what happened, from that day on, nothing can ever be that bad... because I had you. And then I, uh... I grew up and I lost my way. And I blamed you for my failures. And I know that you think you have to do this today... but I don't want you to. But I guess... if I love you, I should let you move on.”

“I used to think that teachers who gave homework on weekends should be forced to grade papers for an eternity in hell.”

“You know, I've never really liked paying bills. I don't think I'm gonna do that, either.”

“I used to think that being consumed by the questions of my identity and origins made me an inferior person, even as a child.”

“I try to think up material that might apply to the subjects they are studying. How many mitochondria does it take to power a cell? One. Because mitochondria are the powerhouse of the cell. Not ready for prime time, that one.”