“People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House.”
“If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?”
“Spring is nature's way of saying, Let's party!”
“Reality is just a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.”
“You're only given a spark of madness. You musn't lose it.”
“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.”
“Never pick a fight with an ugly person. They've got nothing to lose.”