Terry Pratchett

“The Yen Buddhists are the richest religious sect in the universe. They hold that the accumulation of money is a great evil and a burden to the soul. They therefore, regardless of personal hazard, see it as their unpleasant duty to acquire as much as possible in order to reduce the risk to innocent people.”

“If the Creator had said, "Let there be light" in Ankh-Morpork, he'd have got no further because of all the people saying "What colour?”

“I mean, it's a good job we've got a last desperate million-to-one chance to rely on, or we'd really be in trouble!”

“But we were dragons. We were supposed to be cruel, cunning, heartless and terrible. But this much I can tell you, we never burned and tortured and ripped one another apart and called it morality.”

“Some people are born to command. Some people achieve command. And others have command thrust upon them ...”

“... a metaphor ... is like lying but more decorative.”

“Overexcited? No! I'm getting very calmly worried that someone might shoot me!”

“Magrat wondered what it was like, spending your whole life doing something you didn’t want to do. Like being dead, she considered, only worse, the reason being, you were alive to suffer it.”

“In a certain light and from a carefully chosen angle, Magrat was not unattractive.”

“Nothing’s louder than theend of a song that’s always been there.”

“Happier than a terrier in a barrel full of rats”

“History needs shepherds, not butchers.”

“It was no use getting angry with Wullie; he lived in a Wullie-shaped world of his own. You had to think diagonally.”

“SEE THE MAN NEXT TO HIM? WITH THE LITTLE MOUSTACHE AND THE GRIN LIKE A LIZARD? Death pointed with his scythe. 'Yes?' HIS COUSIN, THE DUKE OF STO HELIT. NOT THE NICEST OF PEOPLE, said Death. A HANDY MAN WITH A BOTTLE OF POISON. FIFTH IN LINE TO THE THRONE LAST YEAR, NOW SECOND IN LINE. BIT OF A SOCIAL CLIMBER, YOU MIGHT SAY.”

“The thing about words is that meanings can twist just like a snake, and if you want to find snakes look for them behind words that have changed their meaning.”

“Character assassination. What a wonderful idea. Ordinary assassination only works once, but this one works every day.”

“She said to me, "This is fun.""It weirdly is," I said."Maybe these are our salad days.""Huh?""You know. Happy.""What's happy about a salad?"She shrugged. "Ranch," she said.”

“The point is not to avoid the war, it is to win it.”

“Don’t trust the cannibal just ’cos he’s usin’ a knife and fork!”

“Sonata for Thunderstorm, Trapdoors and Young Women in Skimpy Clothing.”

“Mistress Weatherwax, you are a natural disputant.” “No I ain’t!”

“Agnes felt that beauty was even more likely to be in the eye of the beholder if the feet of the beholder were on something solid. At ten thousand feet up, the eye of the beholder tends to water.”

“...they wore their hair long like a poet who hopes that romantically flowing locks will make up for a wretched inability to find a rhyme for “daffodil.”

“There was practically nothing that he wouldn’t attack, including architecture.”

“I never understood that story, anyway,” said Nanny. “I mean, if I knew I’d got a heel that would kill me if someone stuck a spear in it, I’d go into battle wearing very heavy boots—”

“This is Lancre we’re talkin’ about. If we was men, we’d be talking about layin’ down our lives for the country. As women, we can talk about laying down.”

“Try it for your father, dear,” said the Countess. “Quickly, before it congeals.”

“My granny used to say if you’re too sharp you’ll cut yourself,”

“See a pin and pick it up, and, all day long, you'll have a pin.”

“Det beste man kunne si om Magrotte var at hun var noenlunde alminnelig og velstelt og like flatbrystet som et strykebrett med et par erter på, selv om hodet hennes var altfor fullstappet med griller.”

“Himmelen var klar, snøen dyp og knasende som sukkerglasur.”

“Et eller annet sted på Skiven, sa fornuften ham, måtte det være noen som var mer ulykkelig enn ham. Han lurte på hvem det var.”

“Knepet med å være epleselger hadde fungert bare én gang i hele hekseriets historie, så vidt hun visste, men det var en tradisjon.”

“En gang forvandlet hun et gresskar til en kongelig karet, sa Dadda. (...) Det hjelper ingen å møte på ball og lukte som en pai. Og den affæren med glasskoen. Farlig etter min mening. Men det største hun noen gang gjorde, sa Dadda og ignorerte avbrytelsen, var å få et helt slott til å sove i hundre år til... Hun nølte. Kan ikke huske det. Dreide det seg om rosebusker, eller var det spinnerokker med i det der? Jeg tror det var en prinsesse som måtte fingre på... nei, det var en prins. Sånn var det. Fingre på en prins? sa Magrotte ille til mote. Nei... han måtte kysse henne.”

“Bodde i et ekte pepperkakehus også. Et par unger dyttet henne inn i hennes egen ovn til slutt. Rystende greier.”

“Jeg mener, javel, det var hundre år, men hun flyttet bare slottet. Jeg tror at hvem som helst kan greie et slott. Det rykket litt i den sinte minen til Bestemor. Og hun lot det vokse ugress over det hele, bemerket hun stramt.”

“Det ble ansett for å være svært sunt der. Svært få basiller klarte å overleve.”

“Forresten, sa han, hvordan tyller man egentlig i seg? Jeg tror det betyr at du søler ut mesteparten, sa Hwel.”

“Og ingen kunne slå en bydverg når det gjaldt å tylle i seg. Iblant bommet de helt på munnen.”

“One of my predecessors used to have people torn to death by wild tortoises. It was not a quick death.”

“It is well known that stone can think, because the whole of electronics is based on that fact, but in some universes men spend ages looking for other intelligences in the sky without once looking under their feet. That is because they've got the time-span all wrong. From stone's point of view the universe is hardly created and mountain ranges are bouncing up and down like organ-stops while continents zip backward and forward in general high spirits, crashing into each other from the sheer joy of momentum and getting their rocks off. It is going to be quite some time before stone notices its disfiguring skin disease and starts to scratch, which is just as well.”

“Best to get it off his chest. Own up like a man. Take his medicine. Cards on table. Beating about bush, none of. Mercy, throw himself on.”

“Death was standing behind a lectern, poring over a map. He looked at Mort as if he wasn’t entirely there.Yᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇɴ'ᴛ ʜᴇᴀʀᴅ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ Bᴀʏ Oғ Mᴀɴᴛᴇ, ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ? he said.“No, sir,” said Mort.Fᴀᴍᴏᴜs sʜɪᴘᴡʀᴇᴄᴋ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ.“Was there?”Tʜᴇʀᴇ ᴡɪʟʟ ʙᴇ, said Death, ɪғ I ᴄᴀɴ ғɪɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀᴍɴ ᴘʟᴀᴄᴇ.”

“There's always the dwarf bread.”

“Bilo je to... vrlo... ljubazno od tebe", oprezno je izgovorila."Je li? Nikako ne mogu shvatiti što mi je došlo.”

“Mogao je to biti najveći biser na svijetu, osim što su mu se površinom kovitlali složeni srebrnasti obrisi, neprestano na samom pragu pretakanja u nešto prepoznatljivo, ali uvijek u posljednji tren to uspijevajući izbjeći.”

“Ali sad je barem znao kojim putem ide. Kad zakoračiš s vrha litice, život ti krene u vrlo određenom smjeru.”

“Negdje tamo, pomislio je Cutwell, i ja čvrsto spavam u svojem krevetu i ništa se od svega ovoga nije niti zbilo. Baš sam sretnik.”

“Knjige su se same ispisivale.Nekoć je Mort to smatrao jezovitim. Ali sad je bilo nekako... ohrabrujuće. Ukazivalo je da sve u svemiru ide glatko. Ali njegova svijest, u potrazi za izlazom za nuždu, vedro ga je podsjetila da, no dobro, možda sve ide doista glatko, ali da zasigurno ne ide u pravom smjeru.”

“It is well known that any drive to reduce paperwork only results in extra paperwork”